Two Xanax + half a bottle of wine= the only way that I would get on that goddamn plane. Awful, awful…I hate flying. Oddly, this is a brand new development - air travel never used to bother me. Up until the last year or so, I boarded planes like an absolute pro. The idea of lounging back en route to a desirable destination and getting a block of uninterrupted reading/writing in sounded like a good ol’ time. Ah, but no more- now I’m a wreck and sedating me like an unruly animal seems to be the only answer. This obviously cramps my style quite a bit- a traveler’s constitution is (or should I say was) as much a part of my identity as tattoo’s or being an avid cook.

In any case, I (grudgingly) got on that deathtrap and arrived safely in Paris an eternity later (more like 91/2 hours but it certainly felt longer as the Xanax wore off and headache found its way in). Paris is gorgeous…it truly is. Its simultaneously old and new, packed with history, glorious architecture, beautiful stylish women, short yet equally as stylish men and baked goods that will make anything in the U.S look like dog shit in comparison. While there, we developed a routine in which we would wake, breakfast (omelets, pastries, tiny coffees), walk/explore, lunch (simple baguette sandwiches, impressive salads), walk more then return to our hotel for a late afternoon nap before dinner. We sampled restaurants of every type throughout the cities various districts (most all of which were satisfactory with a few stunners mixed in) and always finished off the evening with ice cream/espresso. I ate a lot of ice cream…a lot. Wes ate his weight in pastry while I put away the ice cream/gelato by the gallon. It was disgustingly delicious. After Paris we hopped a train to Nice- which we didn’t like. It felt excessively touristy, a bit too vacation oriented/Spring Break-esque for my taste. But the food was good (amazing Indian) and so was the, ahem, ice cream. And so we continued on to Rome. On the train trip down we became acquainted with three college age Brits, traveling like us, at the mercy of the rail system. These gents played gin rummy for, no joke, 5 hours straight all the while keeping us terrifically entertained. Taking a liking to each other, a good chunk of our time in Rome was spent navigating the city/seeing the sights together as a little pack. Our visit to the Vatican was particularly interesting if only because a couple of us were deemed unfit to enter the grounds. I was denied access due to my “too much skin- too short!” shorts- Kieron, one of the Brits, also got turned away for wearing a sleeveless shirt. Ridiculous that we were required to change to gain entry- but we did. Mind you, I spotted a fair share of “Looney Tunes” T-shirts, sandals with socks and fanny packs- clothing choices that I personally consider an atrocity. But, apparently those lie within the realm of fashion crimes as opposed to examples of moral indecency…to each their own. Rome was dirty, busy and in the same historically captivating- ruins dotted the city scape as casually as bus stops. We adopted a similar routine to that of which we had formed in Paris, the only difference being our new pals. Oh and maybe a wee bit more napping- the change in temperature got us down…the heat was exhausting. Our adventure in Europe summed up: too much dessert, tedious hateful train station arguments (differences in travel habits can be a bitch), endless museums, long naps, marathon walking, unbelievable scenery, restaurant roulette, awe inspiring cappuccinos, charming new friends, cheap wine, not enough water, and massacring multiple languages while comically (or so we thought) mimicking a number of foreign accents. I hate shopping. So naturally, I didn’t buy anything in Europe outside of a scarf on a particularly chilly Paris night. I did however, bring back some fantastically lucid food memories that I’m now busy recreating at home. While in France, tapenade seemed to be as ubiquitous as the bread basket. Traditionally, it is made with anchovies and capers but here it is kept pretty bare bones (really, the recipe is more of a spread than a tapenade). As an olive lover, I eat it with everything-veggies, meat, cheese but truth be told a nice crusty bread is its best mate. Ingredients

1 cup pitted nicoise or kalamata olives 1/4 cup walnuts 3 cloves garlic, peeled 2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil 2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice 2 Tbsp chopped fresh oregano or 1/2 tsp dried oregano 2 Tbsp chopped flat leaf parsley

Directions Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender. Use pulse setting to process until just pureed- you want the spread to retain a little bit of texture. Store, covered, in the refrigerator. It should keep for about a week.